I am always taken aback when people often ask for casual conversation “san ka nanggaling?” (where have you been) or “san ka ppunta?” (where are you going?). I always have a convenient answer “ke meyor, sama ka?” (to the nearest john, wanna join?)
I dont think its a casual conversation opener. I think its just plain intrusion. Unless u have emotional/ relational ties/ official context, where people are going or coming from, is their own business.
You don’t accost people out of the blue on pretenses that you would want to know what they’re going thru, when actually it was just lack of something to say.
I guess its time we practice decency of letting the people we interact with, decide if they want to share their special moments with you. You do not have any given right to be in the middle of their lives unless they allow you to and being social media friends does not mean you have the real deal.
Funny how we have all evolved the human capacity to create social ties and equal emotional connections, including its complications just with our own man made devices and the avenues it has created.
Within the world of instant messaging and quick connections is also a redefinition of being “connected”. Now, we’ve added another layer of partition in the muddle of relationships. Now, we cannot really know how people feel, what they really are going thru, what a true state of mind is, or does the status post alleviates that?
Are we really alleviating anything just by “wall posts” or “tweets”? Now, we have categorized our friendships into “friendship settings” and layered them into who can view what and up to what events, photos and posts. What have we done to our actual interactions? now, how to we define people from one who really “cares” to one who just likes to be on the grapevine?
I’ve just read in RD about a survivor of Sendai’s tragic earthquake. Their house was not damaged, but water, gas and electricity was not available. Neighbors would give them water so they could boil them and make it potable. The house was a protection against the zero degree temperature outside so some of their friends and neighbors were also also sheltered inside. This was an interaction during a time of need. This is a face to face relational connection defined by a common tragedy. If they survived it, the connections they’ve made in this context will last them a lifetime, this cannot just be erased when you “block” a friend.
I wondered, how would it be when the time came when we just know our common friends “electronically”? Would they be there when there is no electricity, gas or food around? will there be a time when we can upload food and attach it to a wall post? but then you would need electricity and internet to be able to log in.. hayyy… complications..
Culture is created because of human interactions, not inspite of it. I guess now we are all evolving into a culture of fast interconnection but not so deeply connected. A quick browsing satisfies one’s curiosity but not necessarily allows one to be truly involved.
In the meantime, I am appreciative that this day is still on a regular “friendship” FB routine. I get to listen to my playlist without being bothered if there’s lunch coz I just did my grocery last week, unless I cook it and take pictures and post it in FB, and say “this is what I had for dinner” my connected friend would click “like” but you never get to read the bubble thoughts saying… anu naman?! 😀
shure shure we can talk about gas prices, movie stars, best restos, places we go to and of course the blast time we had doing things we love to do… say like “I just woke up” and its 3pm. We let the world know how so opinionated we truly are 🙂
I don’t dare ask on my friend’s wall post why she still have her picture taken while her hair is wet. (In japan, a woman should not go out of the house with hair dripping wet, because people think you’ve just had quickie and need to run out of the shower because u’re late enough already) I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever they are doing and I don’t want to be considered as an opinionated asshole in FB posts thinking I should know better.
I guess I need to ask permission first if they would allow me, if I am not one of those who have restrictions on the friendship settings. Unless they do, I content myself with just snooping around their FB wall posts 🙂 after all, its like stalking with permission 😀