Stupid is as stupid does…

If there’s anything that Manila would like to brag about is its wealth of nightlife. Yup, we’ve got clubs, partee partey events, beer festivals, street parties, upscale got-to-be-in-the-list-of-you-know-who social events, and just plain bottle drinking sessions that suddenly crop up at the side streets, all of course in the guise of nightlife happenings.

It’s a social norm, humans developed it I guess from the early stages of caveman social life. Maybe they got tired of just sitting in front of the fires and saw how pretty neat shadow finger figures looked like on the walls.

“The one who makes prettiest eagle shadow on the wall gets two club whacks on the head.”

“Why two?”

“One is for the shadow, and one is for the pretty”

“You mean the prettier the merrier?”

“if you had that much of club whacks in your head wouldn’t you be merry?”

“Yahhh… you’re right…okay, game.”

So they proceeded on making shadow figures, trying so hard to outdo each other. Making snakes, dogs, stags, maybe cats, hairy lions? probably giraffes… and at that point of making the giraffes, the other would have to stand up to make the shadow looked like its got a long neck. In the course of probably trying to mimic the long neck, they got to the point of gyrating so much that the other cave man said, “Hey I can do that too”,

So the gyrating stuff was most likely would have been the origin of dancing, by the fire. Why we make stupid things when we’re out dancing on party nights was also probably because of a physiological thing handed down to us by our ancestors the caveman. It’s from the ritual of club whacks in the head, to prove who made the best shadow figures on the cave wall while in front of the fire. Of course, fires were invented to satisfy the need of making shadow figures on cave wall, not the other way around. ya think? On the height of probability, the one who got to make colored shadow figures on the wall had the most “mentally challenged” offspring in this generation.

compliments from one of my favorite bloggers, Maximum Wage - "I don't want to live on this planet anymore"

Anyways, Manila also have a bevy of stand up comedy bars. If your kind of fun is laughing yourself silly with crude, sometimes cruel jokes, it’s a place to go to. I’ve had episodic run ins with comedy bars, where I can never leave the place drunk because I was laughing so hard my head hurts. It’s a staple you know, how they try to make fun of the audience. They’d pick out the obvious ones, bald men, beer bellies, booger faced ladies and snot nosed nerdy looking guys. Although, I really can’t make any distinction, they never looked like any of those unless the characteristics were highlighted on the stage and made fun of. If it wasn’t called to your attention, these guys seemed pretty average looking to me. I wonder what category I might have been if I was called on stage, which is why I never choose a seat near the spotlight. I’ve always liked lurking in the background, satisfies my need for people watching.

“You look like a fine distinguished gentleman, your name must be Bud.”

“No it’s not,”

“Really? You look like a Bud dha to me” people laughing… Then the comic gets back with “Honestly folks wouldn’t you think he looks like a very wise and worldly man… he lost all his hair by thinking and the world would fit in his belly.” laughter again. Well, the lines were something in that light, now that I’m writing it, I never thought it was bordering on crudeness or corny cobs but most of the LOL jokes on those places are, I think.

“I was trying on some clothes I wanted to buy inside the fitting room of a famous clothes shop and I ask the attendant if she could get me the larger size of the dress I was fitting, so I wouldn’t have to get out of the room.

She asked “para sa inyo po mam?” (is it for you?)

No it’s not for me, it’s for you. I’m just freaking trying it on just to show you how good it looks!”

The comic was narrating one of her encounters while buying a dress. Don’t you wonder how and when did some people get to be like that? Is it part of evolution or lack of iodized salt while in the formative years? Sometimes I wonder also, while they maybe humorous on a number of occasions, most of the time they simply take my patience away.

I was buying groceries once and among them was a dozen of eggs and a bread loaf. On

The Paper Bag Princess

The Paper Bag Princess (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

the baggage counter, the cashier multitasked on bagging the groceries after she swiped the amount on the cash register. While bagging canned goods and everything, she attempted to shove the loaf among the stacked canned goods in the nearly filled up green cloth earth friendly bag. I saved the loaf from becoming pancake sized before she forced it inside.

“Miss, never mind, this happens to be a bread loaf that I want in its original shape” I said almost sarcastically after removing the bread loaf from among all other things.

She looked at me strangely, then picked up the egg tray and shoved it lengthwise face down in the space where she intended the bread loaf to be, that really got me more than irritated. Again, I saved the egg tray.

Miss you know you really do not need Math here. Hello.. these are eggs. You don’t just shove them like that in the teeniest tiny space. I’m not particular in cooking scrambled eggs right now when I get home…know what? Never mind just give me an extra paper bag.”

She looked at me strangely again “But you’ll have to carry it separately..”

“I know, just give me an extra paper bag”

“But you’re going to have to carry a separate paper bag again” she repeated.

I sighed and counted to ten before answering,

“I said I know, j-u-s-t  g-i-v-e  m-e  a-n  e-x-t-r-a  paper bag, please “, I said very slowly hoping she would comprehend my meaning.

“okay”

photo credit from 9gag

she shrugged her shoulders, put on a smug face like an Obama meme and acted like she was doing me a favor by giving me an extra bag to put my fragile eggs and bread loaf in.

Where have all the good grey matters gone? I asked myself while walking to the parking lot thinking whether I should be fuming or just let it pass, because I know she wouldn’t get it if I told her she lacked iodized salt while growing up, or maybe her grandfather practiced figure shadows on caved walls and was good at it, hence the number of head whacks…

to the head?

no… it’s a missile launched Nokia 3310 to the knee… 😀

compliments from one of my favorite bloggers Maximum Wage -

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