Day 16: Something you always think “what if …” about

I’ve always thought “what if…. me and my ex didn’t actually broke up? How would have things be, right here right now?”

If we didn’t broke up, I may have ended like Granny Goose… You know,

there was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

she had so many children she didn’t know what to do.

So she cut off the sourced semen, and baked it into bread,

gave it as a gift to his mom, she can keep him instead.

Maybe why men won’t stick around me because I sleepwalk. Maybe in my dreams I thought I was someplace else bright and beautiful. I never liked being disturbed when I’m in dreamland, which is why whenever…

Diddle diddle dumpling, his name’s John

went to bed with his trousers on

took it off and tried diddle on

I pried the diddle, thought it was a  fiddle,

so ouch went John

Never did find  him around the next day, he must have been hurt. You’d think I’m so pathetic now that I make nursery rhymes out of  men’s “thingies”

hickory dickory dick

a mouse went up the chick

the mouse said “hi”, the chick said “bye”

so the dick called her a stupendous crick

Ok so I guess I’m dishing out too much bitterness on my ex’s, so maybe we can go to other places.

What if men didn’t have balls? and that scrotum lived somewhere else… say like underneath their chins? Mhen! that would give justice to the saying “He hit the notes so high you’d think he’s got his balls shoved up his throat” and he’s actually finding it hard to breathe.

So maybe that was why Michael Jackson really sang good when he was in his adolescence stage.

Today's theme: BOOBIES

Today’s theme: BOOBIES (Photo credit: Malingering)

What if women had multiple boobies? does that mean a more statistical occurence of quads or quintuplets at birth? isn’t it supposed to be correlated? the mammary glands with the reproductive system. Oh you mean they’re actually used for the milk? I really thought it was to further the secret of Victoria’s Secrets.

If there were a lot more boobies to dress up, the higher the cost of being skimpy, right?

They’d parade at the catwalk with those large beautiful wings super sexy and all, and as they wave about the winged costume, there hang all those boobies. Like filled up condoms with water, all hanging beneath the arms.

Of course the models wouldn’t have breasts up front. They’re much too skinny for that, the boobs are underneath the arms, that’s why they’ve got fancy arm sleeves like wings.

Picture this, what if the Va-J-J’ s  were actually multiple holes located throughout women’s bodies?

The first problem would be where to pee? and if you were in the heightened sense of orgasm, my Gad! you’d be writhing like a snail on salt and leaking out like a sponge… eiw!

Women has it better, what if it’s the penises were hanging all around men’s bodies? more than the moles they’re allowed to have, even at the face. Could you imagine if he had a hard on? which one would he use? How in the world will he ever have safe sex?

No he’s not spitting, he’s just finished his faps and the gleeful sperms are just flying all over the place.

At least he’d be able to see clearly if he had a hard on, the irregular sized penises as eyebrows were blocking his sight. Will he ever need to pluck eyebrows?

Again, the most perennial problem on where to pee?

and what if with all those multiple sensual organs stuck on you, each had a mind of its own… where would that lead you?

End of the world I suppose, or the beginning…

but first we really need to find a decent public toilet just to pee.

I’m not qualifying anything here ok, it may be hard to believe because I’m on a deplorable state of oneness at the moment, but it doesn’t mean I wasn’t on the action scene sometime before, or was that  on my previous life? or was that just my dreams? does this post means I’m bitter?

For the record, my ex does not necessarily mean its only one person. Hah! got you there!

They did say you have to kiss a lot of  frogs before you find a prince, that is, if you don’t end up becoming a toad yourself with too much frog kissing activities.

I just hope I haven’t turned into a a ninja mutant turtle, (because of too much turtle activities) wasn’t their sensei a frog? nah.. it was a wise rat..

what if a rat had turtle legs….

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