Cez moi? nahh… I don’t have a weakness. I’m mature, I’m elegant, I’m a good looking hardworking woman who has got all the wraps and bases covered, that’s why I’m living this fabulous life… whatever.
Except when I received an email that I have strong opinions about, vented my rant on a written reply and emailed it immediately to a trusted friend. Unfortunately, I still had the original addressee on an edit mode, so, when I ticked “sent”, it was also forwarded to the same person I had just ranted about.
Ok.. if you must know, I must have done the same mistake for almost a dozen of times already ranging from not so good friends to immediate bosses, haven’t the slightest idea why I can still find work, probably all those novena mass offerings.
Then there’s names, I can never remember them, though I can picture the face so clearly and I’ve carried the conversation way up to their 3rd generation of ancestors and places of origin, or if she ever had a stupid twerking episode.
Had a flat tire, supposed to change to spare, unfortunately even the spare is still deflated.
Went to a 3k run, forgot the rubber shoes. What the heck, I did it in walk and in slippers. The pictures didn’t show the feet part anyway.
Went to my yoga workshop. Sorry no, I did not forget my yoga clothes to do the asanas naked, I did it right this time, in fact I enjoyed it fully on the first day. When I got home, there was still energy to spare so I did the laundry to negate from additional chores the next day.
But the start of the next day session was too early and I was coming from thirty two kilometers away and still haven’t eaten breakfast yet. I arrived just in time and we did the meaty part almost immediately after. From repeated warrior 1’s and 2’s then a variant called turbo dog, doing bridges with feet high up in the ceiling is fine as long and you can hold on, but to do it almost to a minute… WTF!
By the time I got to inversions, I can see my guru upside down even when I was already right side up. I can feel myself almost crashing and I really wanted to cry all because I already wanted to eat and was told by the teacher not yet.
An onslaught of depression was coming over and I can almost see it. When that wave arrives, I just know I’d be throwing tantrums right there at the yoga mat, writhe like an epileptic child inside a mall when you said NO.
Fortunately, the teacher said finally now we can have our stupid ten minute break.
I can’t exactly recall when was it that the sickness was taken in by my human form, all I know is that after the session as I was driving home, I was already feeling bad. By the time I arrived, I had a high fever and has become weak all over. I ate very little dinner and this time, my flu was taking over.
The analgesics weren’t doing their jobs and I was becoming a sand structure. I was so weak and everything about me was painful. Touching me was painful. I could not carry my weight and my joints were like inflamed rubbers. If you secretly hated me and decided to visit on that day, all you need to do was hold my hand and you would have had your full revenge without anyone knowing why.
So I decided to take me to the hospital before I died due to holding hands. While there, although the IV became a bliss when it dripped the medicine, inserting it was not. I hated needles, IV needles- much more.
I don’t usually have sensitive nerve ends that require IV’s to be administered, however when I’m in so much pain, it makes me delight in imagining how to tie up nurses necks with dextrose tubes and hang them above the ER room while I watch in glee from below.
My dreams of how to tie up this nurse’s neck after the IV session, or do a Chuck Norris neck to arm wrestle to avenge my injured hand was not going to be a long privilege however.
Hours later, after all the tests were made they found out I had slight UTI…. UTI?! is that even right? When you have a zero sex life and you’re found to have a UTI, my reaction goes, “huh?” geesshhh… I tell myself, – lady you’re stupidly sick because of your UTI and you don’t even own a dildo.
Its more sadder than a non-regenerating amoeba. You know, those single celled organisms that can produce themselves all by themselves. The non-regenerating amoeba is now the new single.
Anyways, your muscle inflammations are due to your infections. Go home, buy the meds, rest so that the muscles can recuperate and just do your asanas again when they’ve already recovered.
Fourth day into the meds. Feeling better already.
Who says you have an Achilles heel? yeah…. scare them with a chuck norris angry face, better yet hit them with a dildo.