Day 13: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it

English: Muffin topCan we just skip this?

For the record, I am comfortable with my body. I got no body issues

hahah get it? nobody issues… no? yeah, well right whatever ..

In fact I’m so comfortable with my body I can wear it everyday. I can wear it over, under or on top of my skin. It’s not perfect but we both manage. Hey, not everyone gets to be glamour and glitz and affords diamond peel for nasty stretch marks.

what if our body parts can be replaced like clothes and we’re like dolls that we’ve got a closetful of spares? its like a world where there are stores for replacement body parts.

Spare skin, eyes, shoulders, arms, legs what-have-you’s….   snots even! of course it would come with the perfect nose, the guarantee doesn’t say it was slightly used when you purchased it. It’s previous owner was so snotty that it dripped like jello. It would bounce back quick as a blubber even before you attempted to call it in. No wonder the owner sold it for almost free, you could never blow the snot out. It always springs back to where it came from. It’s meant to stay, but would hang out once in while if you’re pretty lonely.

I wanted to buy something from the Store of Spares, I’ve always wanted to be cup C boobies.

“Sure miss, I have just for you” the owner came back with one of his packets. I hurriedly inspected the package and handed my money, don’t want anyone seeing me buying cup C boobies. Before I left the store, I checked out my purchase just to be sure.  It was kinda perfect, the boobies, only it had three smiling nipples.

I can’t have this!” I found the smiling nipples grotesque.

Ah but miss, these are the only ones available as spare. Everywhere you go is the same” The merchant had his smile pasted on his face. He looked like a Chinese trader from before the nineteenth century.

Well I wont take it.”

ohhh… but miss, government will get angry” the cartoon merchant waved at the sign above, it read:

No return, no exchange policy. Complaints will be handled with induced cancer not restricted to but inclusive of,  penalty from six months zombie face, to six years of imprisonment with all “spares” taken away including original parts”

Geesh, it must be hard for some celebrities. If they ever get caught they might return into a single cell living organisms.

So now what would I do with size C boobies equipped with three smiling nipples?

I should have settled for a brand new skin to cover my stretch marks. The skin looked good, smooth and just the right color, but I change my mind because I was reminded of my friend.

I knew a friend who purchased one, skin suit they call it, but once worn, she grew hairs in strange places. Fierce curly eyebrows and smooth as silk flowing very long hair, only it came out of her nose. If she had the blubber type snot sickness as previously mentioned, oh my…. how will she blow her nose? What could be the size of her hankies? ahh.. life is complicated.

She also has those hairs lumped on her knees, ankles and elbows. So it looked like she was wearing flared hairy pants from afar and Elvis Presly long sleeves only the tassels were hair.

Turns out the skin suit was from a shaved female genetically enhanced orangutan. Origins was written in the packet, only it was in small print.

I comforted her, told her that she had it better. She could have bought it from a human but had the body odor of a camel, you know, forty nights and forty thieves riding in the desert and the camel has yet to take a bath. If she walked into a room she’d stink so much, the state would accuse her of genocide. Probably use her as a secret weapon for chemical warfare.  She can always take her pick.

Or you may have issues with your muffin tops. You know, that extra bulge along your waist that somehow overflows when you wear your belt tight, thus muffin top. The Store of Spares have skin suits guaranteed to give you the waistline you want. No bulges. You wear it and you can be sure you have the hourglass figure, unfortunately, the muffin top had moved to the neck, now its a mushroom top and you look like a page boy from Alice in Wonderland.

What I’m trying to say is, our bodies are just like how we view life. If you’re happy with it, then leave it as it is, but when you have an idea of what you wanted to look like, then I  suppose we work on it.

I believe in delayed gratification and fulfillment that comes from hard work. There are no shortcuts.  I think people see us the way we look at ourselves, and if they find me not exactly their standards of beauty, well who cares?!

I find myself fine exactly the way I am.

The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” The Emperor in MULAN

 

 
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